When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
