White coat. Heels.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
