sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
