Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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