So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
