After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
