would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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