My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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