I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do vagina's smell?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
