Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
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