Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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