At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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