I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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