One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
