Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
