why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
MIDGETS
????
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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