I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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