No, drunk sperm still make babies.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
