you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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