Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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