Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
