so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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