I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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