I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
