You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
