Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
