dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
