We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
