i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
