I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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