I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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