sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
