I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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