Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
