Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize