hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
