It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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