im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
