everyone is single if you try hard enough
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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