**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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