I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
