Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
