I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
