Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
