Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
