I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
