I think my vagina is haunted
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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