a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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