Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
