Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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