So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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