the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
