I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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