white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
