i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we should paint friendship bongs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
