do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
