I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
