Moan for me like Helen Keller
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
