you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
