i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Even my vagina gasped.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
