he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's blow job season.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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