you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Boobs are out for the taking
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
